Moving on...

Just heard from my bro, he's home now, mission accomplished.  It's amazing how the cost of dying & transferring everything-you-can't-take-with-you is milked, especially in California.  The auntie who died in the Philippines was cremated, interned, and all her bequests completed within a week of her death.  ONE WEEK!  And she had a house!  And her will was verbal !  OMG, California auntie's will was handwritten, must be verified & testified to, and will be milked for up to a year.  I think my dad listened to me & bro, spent all his money and already disbursed all his real & personal property before he died. Whatever's left over in the banks is inconsequential (no inheritance tax).

So I'm finally jumping on the fad.  I GOT AN INSTANT POT.  Every year, my company gives us $50 gift card at Thanksgiving.  It's always been to a grocery store but this year it was to Target.  Since (Cali) auntie died, I've been getting rid of my own stuff that I haven't used in a long time.  I got rid of two crock pots -- they've never worked for me because I can't sleep when I smell food cooking.  But it's not a crock pot, it's a modernized pressure cooker.  Some models have wifi monitoring.

Growing up, Mom did not spend the whole day in the kitchen.  She did everything in her pressure cooker.  When I moved out on my own, I preferred the oven.  If you couldn't cook it (anything) in the oven, I wasn't interested.  Along the way I got interested in wok cooking so I started doing stuff on the stove top.  That and Alton Brown's 90's show lead me back to the pressure cooker.  It was cool, but it wasn't all that.  I hated how the steam would depressurize against the wall, against the wood cabinets, etc.  I tried the quicker depressurizing method in the sink.  I eventually took out the gasket and just used it as a big pot.  Now I understand why mom left her pressure cooker on the stove for so long.  I never had that kind of time, that's what the valve was for!

First run today.  I did my recipe for beef barley soup.  Normally I would need my two biggest pots for this.  One for the beef (so that beef keeps softening after I get some broth for the veg), one for the veg to speed up the process, then it's reused to cook the barley.  Success, though it yielded half as much as I usually get.  Con: I've gotten so used to more heart healthy methods.  I'd have to stop this cooking process half way/overnight if I really wanted to separate the fat from the beef broth.  Pro: Because it would shut off automatically (unlike crock pots) I actually left the house to run 2 hours of errands after I put all the ingredients together and left it to stew.  It was depressurized by the time I got back.

I was actually going to get a thermal cooker.  Another one-pot method that I can just put together then leave it to cook, soften meat, and not burn because it's off the heat.  I went with instant pot first because I can walk away sooner in the process.  Plus, I've inherited so much sticky rice, I need a big rice cooker.  With the thermal cooker, you have to bring it up to boil for a few minutes before you can put it in the thermal outer pot and walk away.

Incompetence is making alot of work for me

It's been 2-1/2 months since I've had a caregiver coming in.  Just when everything is going smoothly *crap* school starts.  So she's taking classes toward a nursing degree and I only get her 3 days a week.  She'll be a good nurse and she has a passion for clients with dementia.  The first trained substitute is no longer available.  There's another substitute, but she's not trained to do stuff the way we like. Heck, she couldn't make instant coffee.  So things are up in the air for 2 days/week right now.

A month ago, I hired carpet cleaners off of a local coupon book.  They showed up and pulled a bait & switch.  I showed them the door, they came back and bargained. So I let them just do the downstairs.  It looked clean when they left but it didn't feel clean.  I had to go over it with my own carpet cleaner, a plain water rinse. The collected water was literally black. End result was good enough, but I need to do it again because dirt is coming up in the high traffic areas even though we're not wearing outside footwear inside.  I wanted to do it this weekend, but I don't have enough time.

A year ago I bought a solar-charging battery banks with the intent to use it for my raspberry pi projects.  It didn't work out because #1 it didn't charge my phone to 100%, it would stop around 97%.  #2 The pi projects didn't draw enough current to keep it on, so it would keep going to sleep.  I complained to the company, they sent out another one and a cheap, random "gift."  It wasn't totally useless, I loved the flashlight function--came in handy for a couple of electrical blackouts.

Well, the replacement battery bank was just the same, so it I just had to accept that it the wrong battery for my purpose.  But last weekend, it was dark while I was plugging it in to charge and the input mini-USB connector broke off.  I took it apart hoping it was fixable, but my soldering iron (and eyes) aren't fine enough.  For their part, they cheaped out on assembly.  If they had just soldered down the housing, it would have prevented the connector breaking off the way that it did.   This weekend I took the battery out of it and made the battery power supply I wanted in the first place.  It's still charging now, so I'm going to test it tomorrow to see how long it lasts.

3-1/2 weeks

At the end of week 2, Mom tried to send the caregiver home.  It just took a phone call home to sort it out but at least I didn't have to go home.  I did have to go home the other day. but it wasn't drectly care related.  My wifi was out at the house, after caregiver had left, so I couldn't keep an eye on Mom. 

I started the caregiver in the afternoons because that's when I was running home the most for dementia issues.  It was making a difference to me and Mom's quality of life but I was still always running late, and if I'm too late, I can't work the full 8 hour shift because I don't want to work past 5pm because that's when dementia goes up another notch.  I was worried about losing my job but then my boss started chemo treatments (so I'm okay--praying for him to get through his thing).  After that event, I moved the caregiver hours to the morning.  By this time, she's familiar with the house and Mom's quirks.   

One of the reasons I was always running late, Mom just wanted to sleep a little longer.  Now she can and I don't worry that she's stuck upstairs.  I don't worry that she's going all day without eating.  There was a little dementia issue this week but the caregiver & I came up with a prevention plan for that.

So it's still a work in progress.  We had wins this week with bathing. 

Today, the HOA opened up the gates for a community garage sale.  We have two a year.  They took care of the city permits and advertised in the local papers & Craigslist.  I put very little effort into it anymore, yet this year I managed to sell $12 and get rid of a couple bulky items while I was doing some yard work.  Last year I made $20 for less than a hour of effort, while I cleaned a corner of the garage.  I call that a successful day.

Finally! Caregiver

It's only the first week done - three days, three hours a day.  It was a slow start as she tried to build a rapport with Mom.  I really had no expectations other than hopefully I don't have to run home from work anymore because Mom's been sitting on the floor more than an hour.  Mom is resistant to having help.  By the end of the 3rd day, though, she was able to brush out Mom's hair.  Bonus for me, I think she washed my bedding.  I didn't see that coming (or on the camera either).

So today, Saturday, I'm looking around the house to see what needs doin'.  I cleaned up last week.  I had decluttered a bit, I put away ID-sensitive papers & camera gear.  I got rid of all the little boxes that have been accumulating.  I'm also getting together some stuff for the community garage sale next month.  After getting groceries, now what am I going to do?   I've forgotten how to relax!  Maybe I'll be pulling out my paints soon...we'll see.

However, I'm still having a hard time putting in a full 8 hour day at work.  I don't sleep well because Mom keeps getting up at night. I don't think I've been on time since daylight savings kicked in.  So I'm often 30-45 minutes late, and that's after I adjusted my hours.  I do have the flex to work as late as I need to, but I can only stay until 5pm because of Mom's "sundowning."  That will get progressively worse as the days get shorter until Christmas.  I have a computer job, what I need is to be able to make up my time from home.

Sunday edit: I had energy today!  I put it toward yardwork.  It's been so long since I had energy for the yard, it's either overgrown or browning.  I'm going to minimize then look for a backyard makeover.

Wow, it's almost June

It is Memorial Day weekend.  It's too long!  I'm so bored.  I did all my cleaning & laundry last week, so I have noting to do this weekend.  I edited 3 videos yesterday (they're too personal to publish). We had a BBQ at work on Friday, but I left at 2:30 because I hadn't seen Mom on the camera since before lunch.  (Pushing though long holiday traffic commute home) I found her sitting up on the tile floor behind the chair (camera view).  She says "I was waiting for you."  Wow, that's about a 4 hour wait. I need to get serious about finding a caregiver.  Then I have to figure out my next step because I took so much time off work this week.  Good thing nothing's hot on my desk.

TMI Life update

Wow, time is flying, it's March already!  I can't say I've been really productive but I do have more things to do than I have time in the day.  I haven't had side work since December, but let's start with weekends.  I'm pretty non-productive on Saturdays and Sundays.  I'm always awake by 7:30, but then I wait around until Mom's ready to awaken so that I can offer her a bath.  If it doesn't happen on Saturday, I get a little more firm on Sunday.  If it still doesn't happen (like today she was really cold despite me turning up the heat + bathroom heater), then it's sponge bath & dry shampoo, and I'll offer the bath every day until she accepts.  It'll make me late for work, but I don't care about work anymore. I'll cover the time with vacation, until they say I can't do that anymore.  I can't work late anymore.  Mom gets confused after 3pm so I can't stay at work past 4pm.  I think she tried to scare me couple weeks ago when she told me she "went to the other house looking for me" when I was late.  I don't think it's true, she was never off the camera view that long.  Anyway, I'm burning out.  I think I'm not completely burnt out yet because of the weekly workouts I'm getting in.

Mom's motivation to leave the warmth of the bed is hunger.  So I prepare her breakfast & lunch before I leave for work.  That takes more time than I have, actually, so I'm always late to work.  But I'm able to bait Mom by offering coffee. I don't think I've been at work on time since December.  Whatever, I almost don't care anymore.  If it comes up at my next review, I'm going to give it to them straight.  I need to be able to work from home 10-20% of the time.  There's alot of work out there, I could do better than my salary now freelancing from home, but I'd be spending all that to buy healthcare insurance.

So Mom's tired from watching TV all day and walking between her chair and the couch.  She turns in early and I help her into bed.  When it's really early, I can come back to my home office and do stuff, otherwise it's the end of my day, too.  I need a longer day to actually get stuff done.  At least I'm a step closer to getting help from a caregiver.  I successfully installed a smartlock this weekend.

Finally doing things for me

I got  so much done yesterday with just 2 extra hours.  I finished my design on Thursday but I went to work on Friday in case the vendor had any questions.  I really didn't have anything to do.  So I looked busy until lunch and bounced off the walls for another hour before I gave up and decided to leave.

I ran alot of errands and went to the gym to check out the renovations.  Every year I keep an eye out for a deal on a personal trainer.  This is my year!  So I'm signed up for 10 sessions to finally do something for myself.  I was very specific that I want a routine I can do at home because I can only get away to the gym on weekends. I have other age-related limitations now that need to be taken into consideration.

I need to get back into sketching.  I've got all these canvases (and paint) that haven't been touched in a couple years.  So...

2018 Resolution:  Do something for myself every day.