Do I look like my best friend just died?

RIP Kathy,

We met at our first professional job out of college (early 80's) and as we went on with our professional lives (we moved away for our next jobs) we stayed in touch as pen pals.  Then in 1999, when I was job searching for a company to pay for my move back to California, my job interview was in the same city she had settled to after a big earthquake destroyed her apartment/life in Sylmar.  We had dinner, a long catch-up, and she gave me the night tour of the city. We were a pair of similarly geeky girls.

She struggled with her health for the last 5 years and retired early.  Then she moved to Utah to be close to her brother and his family.   I mean, her brother's kids are well out of college by now, I think they're married, and pursuing their professions around the world but they visited home frequently.  We had a phone call a month ago, she was so excited that she'd gotten her 2nd vaccine dose.  She was in assisted living and had been under lockdown since last March, just like Mom.

Ever since Grandma passed in the '90s, until 2018, I've always been aware of how few people who I've personally known had died.  Then I reached age 55 and lost three family members that year.  I really didn't know how to deal with these losses.  I am prepared for Mom to go, but two deaths this week!  My auntie's 2nd BFF, Lulu, died Tues night in her sleep, she was 72 and had just retired from working.

I had a bunch of tasks planned for this weekend but after I got the news about Kathy, I've just been moping around the house.  I'm actually surprised at how bummed I got when I heard about Auntie Lulu, but she was so instrumental in helping me with my auntie's passing.